And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference.
I have a reunion I am supposed to attend next month and I was excited to go at first, seeing old friends, and being able to see with my own eyes that they are well. Safe, hopefully happy. It is nice to hug an old friend you haven’t seen in years.
They are not ordinary friends,we are friends who endured the depths of Hell together and came out on the other side. Many are not my friend at all, they are just my childhood, they are my past, they hold the same secrets I do.
I am trying to fight the urge “not to” go because in fact, there are a few, I am so anxious to see, they have married and I have not met their spouse,some have had grandchildren, some have found their happily ever after! Nothing brings me more joy than seeing an old friend once tormented, alongside me, now living happily and has a person they call their own.
I have to go, this inner battle of black and white constantly fighting with everything I have to stay in the gray, not one or the other somewhere in the middle is probably best after all. So let them fly in from around the world and I will be there with open arms and hug those I love extra tight and try not to glare too harshly at those that probably deserve worse. I cannot allow them to win. If I am hurt, by what they did or have even done in recent days, they win. I live this day because I am a fighter. A peaceful gal but a fighter non the less.
My body is whats weak, my soul is strong.I have to remind myself of that for I am struggling and it becomes harder and harder to find my (Polly Anna), That’s what I say when trying to find the good and not stay in the bad.
Pollyanna, is a very old movie in which this girl in-spite of her circumstances always found the good, she referred to it as her glad game. I play that game too many, many days, in the movie when she becomes ill she finds it is not so easy to play the glad game.
While I am unable at this moment to play the glad game,as often as I’d like to, I am no longer alone in my quest, I have a someone who walks beside me and sometimes lets me hide right behind his back. He holds my hands and whispers in my ears, “hold your head up high” ” I’ve got you”
This journey of mine while not always sunny, (I am not feeling all that sunny) it is an adventure I am proud of . I don’t always know how I get there but somehow I manage to stay afloat and hang on.
Sometimes it is talking to an old friend who shared the same horrors I did. I thank them for the times they spent talking to me when they have their own worries. sometimes it means looking at one of my children I brought into this world and smiling feeling pleased. Sometimes all I need is a hug and a kiss from my granddaughter. Sometimes, well sometimes plain and simple “time” is what it takes. A pair of fresh eyes can do wonders.
The best thing in the world however, is doing something for someone else and stop allowing yourself to become consumed with your own silly problems. (though they never feel silly at all)
Today, I say thank you to my very best friend in the world, the man who lies beside me every night. Thank you for holding me when my body trembles with fear , thank you for listening even when my words fail me, thank you for kissing my tears that refuse to stop, thank you for smiling at me even as I hobble and for always helping me up when I have fallen to the ground.
Thank you my friend, thank you my for this beautiful road trip!
I love you .
Today I am riding shotgun!
Thanks for coming along for the ride, remember to never cover your face . You are beautiful even on the days ugly seems to creep out of the darkness.
Robin ~ a simple bird.